Lately, I’ve been struggling with my perfectionism. A few months ago, if you asked me if I was a perfectionist, I would have said no. I used to think perfectionists achieve perfection, something I believed I couldn’t do. But now I see it differently. And I have to recognize I am perfectionist. I am not doing things perfectly but I was considering there were only one way to do things “to do it well”, and my “well” was meant for perfectly.
Being a perfectionist isn’t about being perfect, being high level; perfectionist personés are not necessarily more efficient than none perfectionist people. Actually I think being perfectionist is more like a handicap than an advantage. Let’s talk about why.
It took me a long time to understand that I was a perfectionist. Firstly, because it didn’t touch every aspect of my life; it was only related to my job. Actually, I never recognized the perfectionism as my own. I always viewed it as, “This is what I have been asked to do.” In my job position, I was assigned goals, roles, tasks, and processes to match the company’s way of functioning. Since I was asked to do so, I assumed I had to do it perfectly; that was part of the job.
Becoming aware the pitfalls of perfectionism
The thing is, I wasn’t expected to be perfect or to do things perfectly. The thing is, the company was built on volume, not top detail quality. So, in the pursuit of volume, it allows for deltas, imprecisions, and errors, which are considered normal since achieving volume often requires speed or focusing directly on essentials rather than details.
At the end of the day, the result tends to be similar. If a mistake is made, the repercussion is usually financial and leads to fewer benefits. However, since we deal with larger volumes, the loss of benefits is typically absorbed by other files.
So, in essence, perfection and a high level of detail were not what the company expected from me. In other words, I wasn’t asked to be perfect this time, but I still struggle to adjust and accept that I don’t have to be perfect, and realistically, I can’t do things perfectly.
Side effectsof perfectionism
Perfectionism leads to self-pressure. While I was in that job, I was assigned way too many tasks to be able to complete everything within the time frame I usually managed (again because of the volume), so I had to develop strategies to be more efficient, not waste time, and get things done in the most optimal amount of time. The strategy is still in development, and I’m not sure if I’ve found the best way, but that’s another story.
The thing is, in my mind, with that vision of perfectionism, it was impossible to admit that I couldn’t handle all of this in the amount of time I had. So, I would work extra hours just to get things done on time, or just to get them done. Actually, I never reached the “all is done” stage; there were always pending tasks I could not finish.
The effect of this was stress, anxiety, a feeling of not being enough, not doing enough, doubts about whether I was the right person for the job, and thinking that the company’s processes were on a much higher level than my abilities. Well, at the end of the day, work started to become unpleasant for me, and all of it was due to my mind.
What I started to realize then was that I generated all those feelings because of one thing: assuming I had to be perfect, and being perfect meant having all things done, and perfectly done. Since I was in an “all has to be done” strategy and not assuming I couldn’t do something, I was unable to prioritize effectively. Everything seemed important, and everything had to be done. Realizing that allowed me to take another look at the to-do list and prioritize tasks.
Since I was in an “all has to be perfectly done” mindset, I was procrastinating a lot, always thinking “I will take time to do this, to do it well. I have no time right now, so if I do it, it will be low quality.” Thinking like that not only led to procrastination, but it also resulted in a longer to-do list. Because I wanted to do things perfectly, I tended to put off tasks. And when I finally did start working on them, it took me an eternity because I had to do them perfectly, thus reducing my efficiency.
All of this finally led me to low results, more frustration, and questioning myself and my position and future in the company.
It led me to an unbalanced life because I was spending way too much time working.
It led to low results because I was exhausted and becoming anxious, leading to disorganization and increased inefficiency.
It led me to be unhappy and more unsure of myself, and it all happened because I wanted to be perfect and do things perfectly.
So how to stop it ?! Good question !
A first step, perhaps the most important one, had been to become conscious that I was being perfectionistic, putting a word on my way of seeing things.
That “diagnosis” helped me to identify the behaviors and feelings associated with the whole perfectionist world. Identifying this permitted me to change my behavior; my inner dialogue is now more focused on identifying when I am procrastinating, when I am misjudging my priorities, or when I am putting too much time or effort into a secondary task. So, I literally allow myself to do non-perfect things, assuming they are not perfect but knowing that they are better done than left undone.
I am still making progress, and I am very happy I could identify the phenomenon. In a way, I feel relieved of a heavy pressure and stress. Now the thing is to adjust, to be able to move the cursor in a setting that permits me to be balanced, both as a person and as a professional.
If you are also struggling with perfectionism, you can share your story in the comments. Let me know how it affects you. What strategies are working for you? Your experience can be helpful for many of us.
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